Back out again .....

Once we returned home from our holiday in Spain my hospital visits continued to have the wound checked and dressings changed.

Whilst away I had noticed their was a tiny hole  across the scar that didn’t seem to want to close. It was the size of a pin head but it just wasn’t closing. The rest of the scar had healed great. For the amount of times the scar had been open and closed I think I was doing great.

I took a short video of the hole so you can see what I  mean. 

Tiny pin head hole would not heal over.

Because of this tiny hole the whole reconstruction had to come back out

As the hole was just not going to heal over I asked if it could be stitched up at all? This was not an option, the skin was already paper thin from the radiotherapy and the three previous times the same scar had been openened . The silicone had not even been injected with any saline yet either which would also put pressure on the scar stretching it further. Dr Stephenson made the decision the silicone had to come back out again and see if the hole would heal. I was devastated. I had already waited for months and months after the radiotherapy as the skin was so thin and it needed to repair itself somewhat but then this tiny little hole changed everything. So I was taken back into hospital  to have the operation to have the silicone taken away and left flat again on the left side. I was gutted.

Because  of that tiny hole that just refused to heal that’s why my reconstruction failed. The silicone implant and port were taken back out. So another operation, scar opened again and back to scratch. Deflated was an under statement. Back to the daily hospital visits to have the dressing changed and to check for any infections. 

It took ages this time for the scar to heal as it had been re-opened so many times, the skin was so thin from the radiotherapy as well. As it healed the skin stuck to my chest wall.

A few more months before we got to this. Then Dr Stephenson told me I wasn't going to be able to have reconstruction. The chest wall was so thin and now the skin had stuck to the bone. 

However, knowing how I felt he told me he would send me to the London Victoria Hospital to see one of the specialists there to get his advise to see if anything could be done for me to have a new boob. 

London Victoria Hospital

Well within a few weeks Jan and I were off for a day trip to London to see the specialist surgeon. Once we got to the hospital after checking in it was a long wait in one of the many waiting rooms. 

I did feel quite nervous I remember. Once my turn Jan and I went into the surgeons office where a nurse was also present. He spoke to me about what Dr Stephenson had said to him and asked exactly what I was hoping for. I explained I wanted to know if their was any way whatsoever of being able to have a boob again on my left side. 

With this he needed to examine me to see what my chest wall/skin was like to see if any procedure could be carried out.

He took so long to examine me thinking of any which way he could possibly build me a new boob. Then he asked my permission to bring in another specialist surgeon for his opinion. Two heads better than one so to speak. 

Any help would be greatly received I said so more the merrier ! They both examined the area. I felt a bit as if I wasn't there, haha, they were in deep conversation whilst I was stood in front of them. The nurse and Jan joining in too at points. It seemed that I didnot have enough fat anywhere to build a new boob. I had to much mature muscle which is no good to build a boob with as muscle can go into spasem so could look completely unatural and possibly cause one boob to be out of shape. 

After approximately fifteen minutes I was told I could get dressed and to sit down so they could discuss with me. They had come to the conclusion at that time it would of been impossible to re-construct me a boob. May be in future years when my muscle turns to fat but not at that time. The only other person the surgeons could remember this being the same senario with was an tripeese artist a couple of years prior. 

Well at least I now knew nothing could be done. So I needed to make the visit worth while so off we went to Primark to do some shopping.